The leaving of the things at the significant others apartment –
Dun dun dun.
There comes a time in every relationship where the girl ‘mistakenly’ leaves some personal items at her boyfriend’s apartment (oops! totally didn’t mean to leave that there, but now that it is there, misewell not deal with bringing it home) or when the boyfriend gives her a spare toothbrush (oh boy! he could be the one). This is considered a big deal to some people, and in some cases, it is.
You don’t live together (yet), but you’re starting to leave some things at each other’s pad. These things can range from deoderant to a flat iron to shoes to boxers to face soap (and everything in between)…
When is the right time to start doing this?
Depending on who you ask, you can get some VERY different answers.
Some people think it’s absolutely unnecessary to leave anything at your bf/gf’s apartment. They think if your’e not living together, why would you do that. No need to jump the gun.
Others think at least 6 months should go by before doing so.
Some jump right in after only a couple short months.
Of course, it’s all dependent on the two individual people and how serious/fast-moving their relationship is.
Ladies, I advise you to NOT initiate the leaving of the things at the man’s apartment. This is something he should bring up. It may be annoying, but if you have to bring your makeup each time you sleep over, I’m sorry but you have to do it. Do not ask for a drawer or part of his bathroom cabinet. NO NO NO. This will scare him off. Let him take the reigns on this one. Let him mention leaving things at his place so you dont have to bring a whole bag every single time. Let him offer up a spare toothbrush. Let HIM initiate this. There are times you can initiate things, but this is not one of them. If he starts leaving things at your place, then you’re allowed to reciprocate, but this should be on his terms.
Gentlemen, if this is something you’re fully uncomfortable with that is fine and no one is forcing you to allow your gf to leave things at your place. However, if this is not something that scares you, then you should casually mention to your lady that she should totally leave an extra deoderant or face soap or some make up or extra undergarments at your pad. Not only will it make her realize that you see this relationship lasting for more than the immediate future, but it makes it easier on her (no more lugging of the overnight bag around), and it brings you a bit closer. No need to give her half your closet, 2 drawers, and the medicine cabinet, but telling her she should leave a few things here and there is a nice thing to do, and no im not saying you should do this within the first couple months. No rush, my friend, no rush.
If youre at a place in your relationship where this comes up, good for you! And if you’re not, don’t start worrying, ladies. This doesnt necessarily mean ANYTHING, so dont start freaking out and picking fights with your bf about how you dont think hes serious about you bc he wont let you leave your crap at his bachelor pad. Remember, pick your battles (and this should not be one of them).
Just do not start ‘by accident’ leaving an outfit there from the night before bc you happened to do the stride of pride in his big t shirt and gym shorts the next morning. One step at a time.
REMEMBER, just because you sleep there 4-5 nights a week does not mean you live there. Let’s not rush to next year, my friends.
Slow and steady wins the race….